i’ve got tell him the ‘big’ reasons, but i forgot to say the ’small’.yaa, i always have little reason that out of his mind. i’m sure he did it unpurposely.but it’s mean alot for me.

i told him, that i’ve planned this since tuesday-thursday noon. 3 days he left me to answer ‘the duty call’ from the owner and give me many times to thought this relationship. and i turning to be evil on thursday afternoon. yes, i did it purposely. i tried tobe someone that he hate. then i could see that he tried hard to ‘melted’ my emotion.i knew it. i appreciated it with postponed my plan.and give he more times to show that he loves me more. until saturday i still confused but i tried to just did everything normally. but when i saw the picture of her beside his family picture….

it changed everything.i knew that it’s that time.it mean a lot for me. i did. where is my ‘fish picture’ in the floor? where is my ‘cat ‘miiko’ picture ‘ on the remote? i’m sure he have throw them to dust bin. i knew that they are just unusefull picture.it just made his room dirty or everything. but they are represented me.and he did it because he didn’ t want her to know about this. but why he put the picture of her in some place that everybody will see it? especially for me?

i knew that it’s so silly, so childish. and i could just tell him.but i don’t authorized for that. she is the ‘owner’. and i’m just the ‘borrower’.i couldn’t do that.and of course he has full right to decorate his own room. i’m sure it will hurt his heart too if i asked that. it’s enough that only me that hurt. and i didn’t want to hurt him.

yaah, but everything has done…

i expect nothing from this, just blow up my mind…